Because Ghyrson inflicts the damage, his plinks are an inevitable route to victory via Commander damage
There is definitely room for improvement, and I would argue you could go even lighter on the creatures, taking out some unnecessary ramp or even removing the Monarch mechanic entirely, and instead going with some additional enchantments or spells to really apply the pressure to your opponents
When you can play it the Cloud brings awesome power offering a pretty good representation of a Mind Twist, an Armageddon, a Wrath of God or a Fireball, often a couple of those things and almost always far worse for your opponent than you
Considering that exiling things is pretty easy to do nowadays, Ketramose can easily turn into a card advantage engine
Autochthon Wurm is the underappreciated fifteen-drop in Magic , and it deserves some love too